Outfoxed
by Calcitrix
Summary: It's time for Beach Head's favorite training exercise. No one's beaten him in three years, but this time around there's some crafty competition. Full, complete story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers…Don't own them, etc. etc.

Duke looked up from his paperwork at the sound of someone rapping on the office door. He sighed. He could tell from the outline through the frosted glass that his visitor was Beach Head. "Come in," he called, trying to keep from sounding annoyed. This was the third visit today.

The drill instructor came in and stood at attention. "Sir, I just wanted to finalize the plans for this year's exercise. Has Mainframe gone over the alarm system yet?"

"Yes, Beach Head. Everything is ready. Why don't you just relax?"

"Relax? Sir, no one has successfully gotten through in the three years I've been doing this. I have a reputation to maintain." Beach Head frowned through his balaclava. "If no one's going to take this seriously, I don't know why we even bother."

Duke leaned back in his chair. "It's only a training exercise, Beach. And besides, if everyone were to take up defensive positions like you suggested earlier, it wouldn't be realistic. The point of this is to simulate a _sneak_ attack on the base."

Beach Head snorted. "Well, if anyone gets through, it won't be MY fault." He frowned again. "Have you decided who's playing this time around?"

Reaching behind his desk for another set of papers, Duke replied, "Yes. I've picked out five Joes who haven't had the distinction of being your guinea pigs for this yet." He looked down and continued, "Tunnel Rat, Lady Jaye, Alpine, Quick Kick, and Gung-Ho." He watched Beach Head's eyes narrow. "You asked me to pick the team members who had different specialties. That's them, and the list is final."

"Not much of a challenge this year," Beach Head mumbled. He raised his voice and continued, "With your permission, sir, I'd like to brief the rest of the team before I head out with the six mock attackers."

Duke sighed again and nodded. Thank goodness he only let Beach Head do this once a year. The man's speeches tended to be a bit on the long side, and he took this particular exercise so _seriously_. He half hoped that one of this year's "contestants" found a weak spot in the base's defenses and actually made it through. Maybe then it wouldn't be the high point of Beach Head's year.

Lady Jaye looked at her watch. Beach Head had been droning on now for almost half an hour. She snuck a peek around the corner and into the gym. Most of the Joes weren't even feigning interest in what the drill instructor had to say. She saw Duke stand up and gesture at Beach Head to wrap it up. It was almost time.

She walked back to the other Joes who were waiting in the hallway. "He's almost done," she told them. "We all know what we're doing, right?" Everyone nodded. "Good. Keep a close eye on the time, your windows of opportunity tonight are going to be short."

Quick Kick smiled. "No problemo, boss lady. Tonight we're going down in the record books."

"And we're likely gonna earn about a month of extra PT," Gung-Ho said.

"We're not breakin' any rules, right?" Tunnel Rat commented. "Beach can't possibly take it out on us."

"Yeah, right," Alpine muttered. "Mister 'no one's gotten through in three years' is gonna be happy as pie if we successfully break into the base tonight."

"Don't worry about it," Lady Jaye told them. "Duke won't let him take any payback."

"I really hope you're right about that," Tunnel Rat replied.

The group grew silent at the sound of boot steps nearing their corner of the hallway. Beach Head came into view, looking smug and satisfied. He gestured for them to follow him, and they walked through the base toward the front entrance. The group exited into the warm summer air, heading across the main drive and past the guard house. Mutt gave them a wave as they passed, opening the main gate to let them out.

Beach Head took them about a mile into the rolling hills around the base. He stared at them all for a moment, then gave them their last instructions. "You have twelve hours to get into the base and download a copy of your personnel records from the computers. You have to deliver it to Duke personally for it to be considered a 'win.' Get in any way you can without damaging equipment or seriously injuring anyone, but," he held up a finger, "You each have to get in a different way." He smirked. "Good luck." He glanced at his watch. "Your time starts…NOW!"

The drill instructor's eyes widened in surprise as Quick Kick's fist landed solidly with his jaw. Gung-Ho caught him as he fell, then settled him gently to the ground. "He's out," he told the others. "This better work or we're gonna be crocodile bait."


	2. Sneaky, sneaky

Quick Kick watched nervously as Lady Jaye removed Beach Head's balaclava and outer clothing. "I guess no one's tried taking him out right away before," he said. "Man, is he gonna be mad when he wakes up."

Gung Ho shrugged. "Last year Leatherneck knocked him out _and_ gave him a black eye."

"Yeah, well, Leatherneck still got caught," Alpine commented.

"I don't think he was still trying to get in at that point," Gung-Ho replied. "He'd already set off the alarms."

Lady Jaye stood, holding Beach Head's clothing. "I'm going to go change. Someone tie him up, please." She ducked behind a thick growth of bushes, and Alpine brought out a length of climbing rope. He secured Beach Head's hands behind his back, tugging at the knots to make sure they were secure.

They all stood looking down at their drill instructor. Lying trussed up on the ground in his underwear for a few hours was not going to improve his disposition. Tunnel Rat jumped when Beach Head moaned and shifted his head, and the group took a step back. No one wanted to be in his line of sight if he woke up just then.

"Ok, I'm ready." Lady Jaye emerged from the leafy screen, now dressed in Beach Head's stolen clothing. Everything fit, more or less; the balaclava hid her features, and the thick vest covered her figure almost completely. "Give me a half hour head start, then move in."

The others nodded, moving behind the next hill and a little closer to the base. "I hope he stays out," Alpine muttered. "I don't know if I can take listening to him curse us for a half an hour."

Lady Jaye smiled to herself as she began the trek back to the base. With a little luck, they would pull this off. She wasn't sure if Beach Head would be proud or only mad, but regardless, they would get farther than any other group had so far.

Mutt saw her coming and moved to open the gate. She stayed far enough away that he wouldn't be able to see details, giving him a gruff nod in passing. He didn't seem to notice anything, but Junkyard obviously sensed that something wasn't right. He cocked his head and whined, giving a half wag of his tail for the person who smelled mostly like Lady Jaye but looked like Beach Head. Fortunately Mutt had him leashed, and he was unable to investigate further.

She used Beach Head's pass key to enter the base, grabbing a random clipboard from the unoccupied front desk as she passed. This part of the base was empty; everyone should be done with dinner and lounging around in their various favorite spots. Technically everyone was supposed to go about business as usual, but it was impossible to act like this was just another night. The team would be on guard more than usual, but not, she hoped, looking for a trick like this.

Taking the long way to the control room, Lady Jaye managed to avoid the most heavily populated areas. She passed Bazooka and Airtight in the hallways, but Beach Head's reputation was working in her favor. All she had to do was glare and they left her alone, giving her a wide berth down the passageway.

She glanced into the main control room before entering. Perfect. Only Mainframe was present, tapping away at a keyboard in front of one of the screens. She quietly walked up behind him, taking on Beach Head's voice to bark, "Mainframe!"

The man flew out of his chair and landed facing her. "Jeez, Beach Head! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

She took a step closer and drove a finger into his chest. "What if I had been Gung-Ho or Tunnel Rat? You'd be unconscious on the floor right now."

Mainframe smiled nervously. "Aw, they won't be in for a few more hours, at least. If they even get this far."

Lady Jaye did her best to loom over him. "That is a sloppy attitude." She moved to one of the consoles and sat down. "I'm going to take over here for a while. Go somewhere else."

She could sense Mainframe rolling his eyes behind her back. "Do you need anything?"

"Just some peace and quiet," she snarled.

Mainframe took the hint and walked out of the room. Lady Jaye quickly moved to his station. She hadn't given him time to shut down the programs he had been working on, and he was still logged on to the computer. She took a few moments to turn off the alarm system, making sure that it wouldn't send out an alert to Duke, as it would under normal circumstances. Fortunately Mainframe's codes overrode that part of the system, since he worked on the program on a regular basis. Next she turned off a few cameras in key locations, citing "needs maintenance" as the reason they weren't up and running. She left the bulk of them alone, as too many non-functional cameras would only raise suspicion.

That done, Lady Jaye downloaded her personnel file, made sure that the date and time were tagged to it, and copied it to disk. She slipped the disk in a pocket and rose, checking her watch.

Quick Kick would be coming over the back fence in ten minutes. She had better get to the firing range and make sure that it was empty before that happened. She headed down the side passages again, exiting at a small door near the armory.

It was nearly dark, yet one lone figure stood at the front of the range. Lady Jaye watched as Cover Girl fired off a last few rounds before walking out to check her target. She walked back, holding the paper up to the fading light. Lady Jaye could see several well-placed holes near the center of the target.

"Nice shooting, Barbie Doll," Lady Jaye drawled.

Cover Girl turned with a start, then raised her eyebrow. "That's rare praise," she said. "Are you in a good mood because you've caught everyone already?" She set down the paper target and leaned against the wooden counter, relaxed and apparently in no mood to return inside just yet.

Lady Jaye gave a one-shouldered shrug and said, "Nah, but I will. Just doin' the rounds." She thought fast. Time was short, and if Cover Girl was in a chatty mood, she'd still be around when Quick Kick started climbing. "I noticed you were actually paying attention during my speech tonight," she said, watching Cover Girl's expression. "I wish Duke would listen as much as you do. Cobra might barge in here at any moment. We have to be on guard."

Cover Girl started edging away, eyes darting to look for an escape from the continuation of the speech she'd heard a million times already. Lady Jaye continued to rant, "We need to have CONSTANT VIGILANCE! I don't know why Duke doesn't just let me run training the way I want to...I could turn this place into a real base. Just today I was telling him—"

"Uh, some other time, Beach Head," Cover Girl interrupted, stepping away. "I need to, uh…get some…paperwork done." She gave a small smile and nearly ran back to the door to the armory.

"About time," Quick Kick called from the far side of the firing range. He climbed the fence with incredible speed, flipping over the wire at the top to grab the links on the inside. He slid down a support pole and landed lightly on his feet.

They walked back inside, and Lady Jaye led the way, making sure the coast was clear before signaling Quick Kick to follow. They headed to the basement sub-levels, where they would let in Tunnel Rat.

There was a light on where there shouldn't be. The two Joes crept closer, looking around the corner to find its source. "Crap," Quick Kick said. "I guess we know where Ace moved the poker game."

Ace, Breaker, Dusty, and Shipwreck were seated around a small table, cards in hands. Lady Jaye glanced at Quick Kick. "Just follow my lead," she whispered.


	3. Getting together

Lady Jaye boldly strode into the light. The four Joes glanced up from the card table, and Shipwreck swore when he saw who it was.

"Busted," Breaker murmured, placing his cards down on the table.

"What the hell are you doin' down here?" Lady Jaye yelled. "You're supposed to be helping to guard the base!" She crossed her arms over her chest, a typical Beach Head gesture.

"We're supposed to behave like it's just another night," Ace protested. "Besides, this way no one will sneak in down here."

"That's what Duke and I were doing just now," Lady Jaye replied with a growl. She raised her voice. "Duke, is that area clear?"

Quick Kick replied from around the corner in a perfect imitation of their CO's voice. "Yeah, Beach Head. All clear. Did you find something over there?"

Lady Jaye had never seen the four Joes scramble so fast. "Duke's here! Shit, don't say anything, Beach! Please?" Ace looked frantic as he gathered the cards and chips.

She smirked and replied, "If you yahoos get upstairs and actually pay attention tonight, I won't say a word."

"Beach Head, who's over there with you?" Quick Kick called.

Shipwreck grabbed the last chip from the table, and the four Joes ran the opposite direction, toward the back stairs that would take them to the kitchens.

Quick Kick came around the corner, doubled over with suppressed mirth. "Man, I wish I could have seen their faces."

"A little help here, guys?" Tunnel Rat's voice came from one of the grates that covered a heating duct, and Quick Kick removed the inner bolts from the frame. Tunnel rat pulled himself out of the small opening and stood to stretch.

Lady Jaye regarded the small hole. "How did you get through that?" she asked skeptically.

Tunnel Rat gave her a wide smile. "Piece of cake," he replied.

"Let's go get Alpine," Quick Kick suggested.

They headed toward the roof, avoiding the stairs and hallways that had working cameras. They had spent a fair amount of time planning their routes, and the only cameras they passed now were shut off.

Alpine was waiting on the far side of the roof door. He gave them a wide smile and finished re-coiling his climbing rope. "Excellent timing," he said. "Perfect night for climbing, too."

"Wow, Alpine, you actually got up here," Tunnel Rat exclaimed, peeking around the climber to the roof surface. "How?"

"I attached a line to the radio tower and fastened the other end to the trunk of a tree." He showed Tunnel Rat the ratcheting pulley-like handles that could be hooked over a taught line and used to slide up even a steep slope. "The tower is high enough that I went right over the fence and straight to the roof."

Quick Kick laughed. "I had the easy way in, I guess."

"Not easier than Gung-Ho will," Alpine retorted. "Why does he get to walk in the front gate?"

"You wanted him maybe to monkey up that rope or fit through a tiny air vent?" Quick Kick answered.

"Good point," Alpine laughed.

The group moved quietly back down the stairs. They had a few close calls, but none of their teammates really expected any of them to have made it into the base yet, and would assume that the alarms would alert them to a break-in attempt anyway. In years past, most of the mock attackers had waited until the middle of the night before beginning their assault.

They ducked into a storage room near the main offices. "I'll send Gung-Ho your way and then get Duke out of his office. You can download your files, and when he gets back, it'll be done," Lady Jaye told the others. They settled in to wait, and she closed the door again behind her.

She strode openly through the base now, not needing to hide the presence of the others. She headed out to the front entrance again, finding Mutt just where he had been before. He saw her approach, and stood a little straighter as she neared his post.

"Hey, Mutt. Junkyard." The dog waved his tail and jumped, but she stepped back, frowning down at the animal just as Beach Head would have. "Take a break, guys. I've got a sneaking suspicion someone's gonna be heading this way soon, and I wanna be here to greet 'em." She gave a wicked smile that showed through the fabric of the balaclava.

Mutt pulled on Junkyard's leash, and the dog sat, tongue lolling. "C'mon, Junk," Mutt said happily. "I won't say no to a little time in front of the TV." Junkyard looked from his master to Lady Jaye, but obediently followed Mutt back into the base.

Within moments, Gung-Ho walked up to the fence, and Lady Jaye let him in. He gave her a grin and said, "Ya know, that was way too easy. I feel like I'm cheating."

Lady Jaye shrugged a reply. "I could just as easily be Zartan," she said. "And he could just as easily let in Cobra soldiers. But if it makes you feel any better, you can go back out the gate and get in some other way."

Gung-Ho considered her offer, looking out into the now dark night. "Eh, I'd have to find a way in that doesn't involve going over or under the fence. No, thanks. This Cajun will take the easy way this time around."

They traced her earlier path back to the storage room, and the others greeted Gung-Ho with wide smiles. It was almost done. Not only would they be the first group to get in, but they would also make it a hard time to beat next year.

Lady Jaye took a deep breath and moved into the hall. Three doors down was Duke's office. They had decided that it would be easiest for the rest of them to gather there to download their files, but it meant that she had to get Duke out first. And keep him out long enough for them to finish.

She knocked on the door and entered at Duke's weary reply. Lady Jaye stood at attention, but Duke had his eye on the folders in front of him and didn't even look up. "What is it now, Beach Head?"

She cleared her throat. "Sir, some of the cameras aren't working properly, and Mainframe claims they were alright earlier. I'd like you to go to the control room with me and look things over."

Duke sighed. "Can't you take care of it?"

"No, sir. The computer wants a higher passcode than mine."

Duke finally looked up. "Fine, I'll go. But I don't want you bugging me all night, okay? I have work to do."

Lady Jaye nodded, letting Duke lead the way into the hall. Just before the door closed, she slipped a piece of tape from his desk over the latch, making sure it wouldn't lock behind them. She copied Beach Head's long, arrogant stride as she caught up to Duke, letting her boot steps fall heavily on the tiled floor. They reached the control room, which was now occupied by both Mainframe and Flint. Lady Jaye stood behind Duke, not wanting Flint to get a good look at her.

"Mainframe, is there a problem with the cameras?" Duke asked, stepping up behind the computer expert.

"Yes, sir," Mainframe replied. "But I didn't want to bother you, so I got Flint to put in a passcode."

Duke gave Lady Jaye a glare, and she shrugged a nonchalant reply. Before Duke could begin his scolding, the sound of a very, very angry drill instructor could be heard coming down the hallway.


	4. Unmasked

Flint, Duke, and Mainframe all looked from Lady Jaye to the door, confused looks on their faces. She pulled the disk from her pocket and called in her normal voice, "Duke!" She threw the disk as he looked up in surprise, catching the disk by reflex.

Beach Head stormed into the room, looking ready to murder someone. His eyes settled on Lady Jaye dressed in his clothing and balaclava. He took a few steps forward and reached up to rip the mask from her head.

She winced as he caught some of her hair, but she simply smiled at him as he stood there, chest heaving, eyes narrowed, fists clenched.

The other three Joes were staring with their mouths hanging open. Mainframe started to laugh first, and both Flint and Duke joined in at the sight of Beach Head in his underwear.

"It's not funny!" Beach Head roared, turning around to face them.

"Are you kidding? It's hilarious," Flint replied, giving Lady Jaye a wide grin.

"You've got to admit, Beach Head, that was a great plan." Duke looked down at the disk in his hand, then slipped it into a back pocket. "The first success in three years. I'm impressed." He looked down at his watch. "And she did it in under two hours. That's gonna be hard to beat."

Beach Head rounded on his teammates. "You must have known it wasn't me!" He yelled, face red. "She couldn't possibly have fooled you!"

Duke put his hands up and shrugged. "She had you pegged, Beach. Your voice, your walk—I had no idea."

"And she yelled at me earlier just like you would have," Mainframe added.

The drill instructor visibly seethed. He turned again toward Lady Jaye. "Where is everyone else?" He demanded.

"I'm not telling," she replied loftily. "You'll have to find them yourself."

"Duke, she must have snuck the others in while dressed as me. Are you gonna count that as a win?"

"Hell, yes, Beach Head. Cobra has plenty of operatives who could sneak into the base."

Beach Head ground his teeth, glaring at Lady Jaye. Then the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Fine. Gimme back my clothes."

"Right now?" Lady Jaye took a step back.

"Yeah. Now."

Lady Jaye frowned. "Fine. Let me get another set of BDUs—"

"NOW."

"That's not fair—"

"I had to walk through the entire base in my underwear," Beach Head growled.

"He's got a point, Jaye," Flint said with a wink.

She sighed, and began to remove Beach Head's clothes. "Do you mind?" She asked, gesturing at the others to turn around.

"Why? You don't have anything else to put on," Mainframe pointed out with a grin.

Lady Jaye grudgingly finished undressing, throwing the clothes at Beach Head, who sniffed them carefully before putting them back on.

"I can't possibly smell worse than you do," she told him with a frown.

"It will take me a week of rolling in the mud to get out the smell of your deodorant," he gruffed.

"There's this thing called a 'washing machine,' you know."

"Then I'd smell like detergent…"

As the two continued to bicker, Duke leaned over to Flint and whispered, "Does she always wear sexy underwear?"

"Yeah," Flint answered with a grin.

Duke shook his head. "That image is going to stay with me for a while, you know." He nudged his friend in the ribs. "And everyone else if she has to walk back through the entire base to her room like that."

Flint's grin slipped, and he hastily took off his uniform shirt, walking over to Lady Jaye and draping it around her shoulders. She looked up, noticing with a start that the other men were staring at her. She slipped the shirt on the rest of the way, throwing Flint a grateful smile. It hung down just above her knees, giving her at least a sense of modesty.

She turned to leave, telling Beach Head over her shoulder, "Have fun tracking down the others. I doubt you'll find them any time soon." She took a few steps and added, "And Mainframe, you might want to turn the alarms back on."

Mainframe blinked and tore his gaze away to look at his screen. "Oh. Right," he mumbled.

Duke headed out the other door after telling Beach Head not to bother him in his office any more that night. "If you need me, use the radio, okay?"

Beach Head's muttering faded away as Flint and Lady Jaye walked back to her room. She gave a brief account of the evening to the few Joes they passed on the way, letting them know that the exercise would be officially over soon.

Alone again in the last stretch of hallway, Flint finally asked, "So where _are _the others?"

Lady Jaye gave a smug grin. "In Duke's office. They should have their files downloaded by now."

Flint let out a short burst of laughter. "Beach Head's probably going to spend the rest of the night looking for them."

"While we," she tugged at his hand, "Are going to be snug in our beds."


End file.
